Monday, September 28th, 2009

What turn negative feelings to positive ones?

I am asking people I don’t know bc I already seen a dr for anxiety/depression for meds. He seems to think the best option for me is to take medical leave of absence.
Don’t tell me to read a book bc I don’t have time. I need to do my homework.
I need real answers and I doubt health care professionals know what they are talking about. Maybe they never suffered depression/anxiety. I don’t consider them experts. I’ve been to two counsellors who gave me bad advice. One told to talk to my Prof about my troubles and he end up being a jerk by calling the police on me thinking I was suicidal. But I told him my parents are ill. How am I going to take care of them if I kill myself. The police showing up at my door at the middle of the night, urging me to admit I was suicidal so they could handcuff me and throw me in the back of their vehicle was humiliating. They scared my parents who were concerned. I told them I was not suicidal and that they coming here was hurting my parents.
It only elevated my anxiety/depression that I can no longer function anymore. I failed my first test. I am bedridden and didn’t bathe for two weeks until I was so uncomfortable. The stupid prof didn’t tell me it was him until after the withdrawal date so I get no refund for this course. I haven’t showed up for his class/labs since bc I keep crying about it. I am afraid of students watching me and wondering what the hell is wrong with me?
Health professionals and the police don’t know anything about anxiety/depression. My older sister already spent most of her life institutionalized before ending her life. These health care professionals don’t really care. I doubt they know what it feels like.
I can’t get help from a different dr bc they turn me saying they don’t know me. The last one was so rude to me she basically told me to get lost.
There’s a shortage of drs in my area so I’ve only been seeing my regular dr at the college campus. However, he doesn’t have any ideas. The meds we tried didn’t work. Alll he is doing is urging me to take a medical leave of absence from school but I fear that I’ll never come back and my life is ruined and my sister never got better once she was institutionalized.
My parents are ill and they are frail and they can’t deal with it if they learn I quit bc of anxiety/depression. They paid for my schooling. I just regret wasting their money. I want advice from someone a real expert someone who suffered major anxiety/depression who despite having no support, conquered their demons.
Phovisi, I bet you never sufferered anxiety/depression. My older sister is already dead. What do you know about life? Nothing. You were probably born without mental illness.

Try love and forgiveness.

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3 Responses to “What turn negative feelings to positive ones?”

phovisi Says:
September 28th, 2009 at 9:47 pm

Try love and forgiveness.
References :

Morgan S Says:
September 28th, 2009 at 10:23 pm

I’m sorry you have not received the help you need especially from professionals. What I am hearing is that you have at least 2 primary issues that are causing you anxiety and depression. Let’s start with the class first. Failing the first test isn’t as horrible as it seems - at least a it won’t seems so bad in a couple of months-I realize now it feels like the end of the world. You have several options. If you HAVE to have this specific course to graduate you can just drop it and take it later and the grade will be replaced. Or you can really study and get a tutor if needed. I am horrible at math and had to take stats for my degree I had 5 stats books that I bought or borrowed besides my text. I studied and did problems from all the books, it was difficult but it finally made sense to me. If you don’t need the course, drop it and take another. Your not the first to fail a test and won’t be the last, the question is what did you learn? That your overloaded and need to do something to take care of yourself? That your on the wrong path and need to do something different? That you need to study harder? Failing is only failure if you don’t learn from it.

It sounds like your parents are sick and you are caring from them also. Are you sure you need to be taking classes, maybe you need a break? A Prof. once told me that if I had a lot of outside stress’s, it would be better from me to skip a semester and re energize.

About your classmates, who cares what they think? They aren’t that important, and have their own problems?

Something that works for me and a lot of my clients in relation to anger or worry is to honestly look at how long something is really important. Such as: Someone cuts me off in traffic, that is only really important to me for a few minutes - so I can be appropriately upset for a relative amount of time. If it will matter a month from now - a little more upset. Few things in our lives are as earth shattering as we make them. Look at things in relation to the rest of your life vs right now. Five years (or less) that you failed a test, maybe dropped a course or were in the back of a police car probably won’t matter that much. It will certainly give you some interesting stories to tell!

Meds will only help so much, counseling will only help so much - together they help a lot, but you are the most important part of the equation.

Take care of yourself. And rest assured that the universe has a way of making things come together they way their suppose to, it just takes us a while to see the results. Relax and have faith.
References :
Clinical Social Worker

J. T Says:
September 28th, 2009 at 10:40 pm

I am sorry to hear what about what a tough time you are going through. I’ve lived with anxiety and depression myself and I know how painful they can be.

I know you said that you’ve tried meds, that they didn’t work, and that you don’t trust professionals. But if your depression and anxiety have reached the point where you are basically bedridden, I strongly suggest that you reconsider and find another psychiatrist and therapist.

Both anxiety and depression are not just "in your head". They are medical conditions, and you shouldn’t have to deal with them by yourself anymore than you should have to deal with an illness like cancer by yourself.

Every profession has quacks, and it’s sounds like you had the bad luck to run into a few of them. But there ARE also good ones out there, who do know what they are talking about. I know, from personal experience, that some therapists have dealt with some form of mental illness, and a the desire to help others with it is what lead them to the field in the first place.

It’s not always easy to find a therapist that you "click" with, but it is possible. Look for someone who specializes in anxiety and depression. Make appointments for consultations, and interview THEM. Ask what their credentials are, what type of therapy they practice (CBT is excellent for anxiety and depression), and just see if you like them. If not, talk to someone else. If you keep trying, I believe you will find someone who can help.

As far as meds go, there are A LOT of different ones out there, and they don’t all work for everyone. How many did you try? Sometimes, you have to try many before you find the one for you.

A peer support group like Emotions Anonymous might help, also. They are non-judgmental, and people there will understand how you feel because they’ve been there, too.

Best of luck!
References :
About CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy):
http://www.med.umich.edu/depression/cbt.htm

Emotions Anonymous:
http://emotionsanonymous.org/

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