Suffer from depression. No one understands. The only kind soul I have is my dr and prof but they’re not my personal friends but they have offered kind words i need . However, dr has no solution to really offer me. He knows the different meds we tried didn’t work. I cant bear to see a different dr bc all the past drs were mean. This current dr is the only one who never treated me bad but he will retire soon and he doesn’t have another dr to refer to me bc there’s a shortage of drs. My family is ashamed of me. I tried joining an online anxiety support group but they kicked me out bc they said they were not professionals and my choices of words of pain (sound suicidal) were not allowed. I am bedridden and have no job. Dr wants me quit school bc i am just not getting better and I am failing bc I can’t cope with school. I feel rejected by most people bc they don’t believe depression is a good excuse. I feel laughed and mocked at and don’t feel like I can trust people in general
Being rejected by the online support group was devastating enough so I won’t join another one any time soon. I failed my first test and I feel like it’s the end of the world. I have no coping skills. Calling suicide hotline won’t help bc they 1) they put on me on hold for hours and 2) they don’t have solutions I haven’t already tried before. It seems hopeless. I am nervous and takes me forever to get better after failing the test I tried hard on. I can’t cheer myself up so I dwell on that one test all day long when I have other courses. I don’t know how to cheer up and move on. I am afraid of getting kicked out of school if I continue like this. I can’t check myself to a hospital bc that would only shame and embarass my family who don’t understand. I am bedridden and haven’t showered. Feel so rejected by the support group and my current teachers and classmates seem cold to me. I feel like they are laughing at me bc I constantly scared and nervous and cope. I hate myself.
Also the prof that is good to me is actually my former prof from last year, not current one. I’ve only email him bc I don’t want him see me in weak state but he has offered kind words.
My current profs are not so nice and I cannot trust them. I don’t feel like I can trust my classmates. I generally have no faith/trust in people. Even if I meet new people who act nice to me, I don’t believe their sincerity.

i have no job and if I quit school, I have no insurance for meds. I tried looking for part-time job but I always mess up bc I get too nervous and everyone gets mad at me. My last two jobs I passed the tests to get the job but they end up firing me or wanting me to get rid of me. I am too scared to look for a job now since I feel the same thing will only happen. I am total reject and I have no money of my own (my dad’s) whom I feel guilty for wasting his money. I try not to spend anymore of his money if I can help it. I skip breakfast and lunch when I forget to bring any

Basically you don’t have a lot of choices. You either continue school or you go to some sort of mental hospital. Mental hospitals aren’t very nice places to be, but I think it’s probably your best choice. Unforyunately they do cost a lot of money but so does school. Fortunately in my case I never had to make the decision to go to a mental hospital. I was in a regular hospital for awhile though. I think your problems require a more specialized facility. Most people think that all depression can be cured. Almost the only ones that don’t work at mental hospitals. They will know that it isn’t your fault that you are like how you are. These people can do more for you than anyone else. Sometimes you are allowed to take classes while you’re in the mental hospital. Unfortunately you might find it hard to get into a mental hospital, because there is a shortage of space in mental hospitals. I guess the government doesn’t think people like you are important.